You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Randomize