Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my shit smells like andre
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
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