morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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