You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize