Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
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then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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