I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
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