Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize