you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
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I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
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if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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