No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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