So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
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