so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
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And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
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I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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