she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize