i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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