Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
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