wrigley field is MILF paradise
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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