I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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