so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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