Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
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