just tell him i said nine months
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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