So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize