If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
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KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
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