i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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