I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
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I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
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I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
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