never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
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