Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
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Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
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