you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
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She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
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