For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
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I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
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After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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