My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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