i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
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