The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
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