Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
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If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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