I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
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