Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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