Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize