Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
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I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
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You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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