hell yes lets make some ravioli
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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