Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
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Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
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I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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