my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
The air was thick with penises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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