If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
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She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
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