He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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