Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize