nutella sex= disaster
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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