She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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