I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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