i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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