Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
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By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
50% drunk capacity currently
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I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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