i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
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we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
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and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
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