I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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