I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
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We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
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yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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