He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
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Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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